Wednesday, December 18, 2013

TTC #3: we go again (written June 17th)

*So one month prior to writing this post I'd talked to my doc about more things I could do to help the process along before seeing her at the one year mark. She suggested a hormone supplement called PREGNITUDE (hilarious name! we both laughed about it over the phone), so I'd started it in May. I think I might have even written a blog post that month about it but saved it to my laptop...I'll see. The title was "Pregnitude - it's got ATTITUDE!". I definitely did that. Oh well. Yeah, it obviously didn't help and I was mad I'd spent the money with no results. Alas, at least it was something to try. If you have any friends trying to conceive, have them research the product because there are lots of success stories out there!*

Another day, another pregnancy announcement. People around me need to stop getting pregnant!! No fair!! Just kidding...sort of. No really, I'm so excited for each of you and the blessing you've received. I'm just a jealous and selfish little B sometimes, too. Oh the things we can say when we're typing and no one's listening :). Seriously, ya' heart feels so heavy on days like this, but what I find myself thinking about most are those sweet souls who are living through this same struggle but are still trying in vain to have their first and only baby. I just can't imagine their heartbreak, seeing as how hard it is for me - someone who's already been blessed with a precious angel. Sure, I also think to myself - maybe its harder for me because I know what its like to have a child (the joy, hope, unconditional love, heart in another's body) and just want to feel that again?? Um, I'm pretty sure its still even harder for them. I am truly blessed. But man, it just SUCKS feeling like everyone else around you can have as many kids as they want whenever they want and you can't! Yep, just looked up from my desk and saw someone in my office and though - hmmm - he has two kids that are less than 3 years apart. Of course. Who doesn't?! Blah. Did I mention I started feeling my monthly cramps two days ago? So, here we go again... July is another month. Maybe it will be our time. (on a happier note, I look forward to uploading my thousands of pics from May and the start of June - HILTON HEAD TRIP!)

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