Getting back to it

This happened today. Sigh. At least I have the most flexible and understanding work schedule around. Think I'll stay home the rest of the week, thank you very much...

And to make my Monday marvelous, it began with this:

Welcome!

Name: Joseph Peter "Pete" Adamo

Stats: 8lbs 14oz, 20 1/2 in

Birth: nothing too exciting...that's a good thing!

Demeanor: chill, chill, chill

Favorites: sleeping, eating (unless he'd rather sleep!), sleeping, watching and listening to Sissy

How's mom doing: amazing...

He's here...

Well I'll say this - it's way harder to say you'll stop at two babies when you're snuggling your second one and he's an absolutely perfect gift from Heaven. Decisions, decisions...

We're almost there! (Wrote this last week - thought it published!)

Well, I'm at 36+ weeks and apparently there are 1,000+ scenarios for what could happen in the next 3 weeks. This is a tough realization for anyone trying to plan anything around this baby (I think I'm the only one who has thrown in the towel already and said "bring it on").

Over the last 6 weeks, I've had blood pressure issues (not enough to become an emergency, but enough to be considered high risk) and last week I experienced my first ocular migraine (no headache! Just crazy blurred vision in a random crescent shape...my mom had two last year so we knew exactly what it was...phew!). That combined with protein in my samples meant cause for pre-eclampsia concern. Thankfully, I keep passing blood tests and non-stress test sonos every time! Dr. T prepared us for the likelihood she'd need to take this guy at 38 weeks to ensure Mommy's safety. 

(Love her - she inquired when my finals were, which are scheduled for 38 1/2 weeks - and agreed she'd do her best to wait until they're done!)

Then yesterday's appointment happened. Blood tests and pee tests came back looking great, blood pressure was the lowest it's been in weeks (despite being taken right after a Bridget tantrum - appts at 2:30 aren't ideal for us)...she starting saying maybe we can wait til he comes on his own! Fast forward to cervix check. 1cm on Friday - 2 1/2 on Wednesday. Sooo...basically he have no clue what this baby has in store for us. Maybe arriving in a few days! Maybe dilating fast now only to stall for weeks. Maybe induced for safety reasons. Thankful this is out of my hands, that's all I can say :).

Lately we've been enjoying our time as a family of 3 as much as possible. Won't be long before the world flips on its head and things are forever changed! A few iPhone pics of recent events:

TTC #5: No crying at work, Anna! (written August 8, 2013)

Well, this is it. The last post I wrote about trying to get pregnant before it finally happened. I remember how I felt when I wrote this post and I hope I don't forget those feelings for a long while. I really has brought a certain perspective to my life that I think is incredibly healthy and humbling. I can't believe we're 53 days away from meeting the little person we struggled so much to make. Now any tears are caused my pregnancy hormones, not period hormones!

Eh, it's cool. It wouldn't be the first time I've cried at this darn place. First time I was about 18, working a little in the summer as the fill-in receptionist, and was allowed to bring a book to the desk during down times. Naive me brought My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. Yep, you know the one. Flash flood of tears for at least the last 50 pages.

I certainly cried this past December (think 2012) as I was glued to my computer screen reading updates about the Newtown school shooting. Tearing up just thinking about it again...

Today I'm being super strong. Hahahaha. Yeah right.

It probably wasn't the best day to call, but I went ahead and got it out of the way. Got my period this morning (as usual, my mind knew it was coming but my heart was still holding on to any and every "different" sort of feeling I'd been experiencing in the last 2 weeks hoping it meant good news) so I followed through with the promise I'd made myself. If I get to August and nothing has happened, its time to call Dr. T and let her know we needed to discuss THE NEXT STEP. Just called and it will be a little over two weeks until an open appointment, so there ya go. Sigh. C'est la vie. It is was it is at this point. But damn these female hormones during my period!!! Damn you, period!!! I'm sort of laughing as I type that...sort of.

*****break this post for 5 minutes when my dad knocks on the door to ask me about a work related question. WATERWORKS. Attempt to curb my normal hyperventilate-cry issue. Deep breaths. Resume****************

I crack myself up. Lastly, I'll end this with a nice anecdote to help me feel a little better. Bridget has been having a tough time closing the summer now that Jonathan is back at work, I'm still working 3 days a week, and her school is not yet open (not til Labor Day week). That means she is left to return to her home sitter (we love Miss Kathy!), which is not her favorite place in the world to be (she loooooooooooooves her school) but its the best place for her right now for consistency. To prep her for a good day today, and to remind her that she's be spending a little more time at Miss Kathy's over the next 3 weeks, we had a little talk about being positive even when we don't want to be. My words: "Sweetie, its your decision to make your day a good day. If you're upset, that's okay. If you want time to yourself, that's okay. But you'll probably have more fun if you choose to play with the other kiddos, choose to do your activities, and choose to be happy. I don't know about you, but I'm going to choose to be happy today." Her words: "Me too, Mommy."

So that's it. I'm gonna talk the talk and walk the walk. I'm choosing to be happy. And hey, it's like I've been saying for a year. Another period arriving means another month I can still plan to start exercising (darn you, heat!) and dieting so I can lose a little weight before baby time. Let's do this!

Just for posterity (written Halloween Eve)

Just saw this draft sitting in my que. It makes me smile to read it - short and sweet :).

Had our 12 week + one day doc appointment yesterday. It went great!

(excuse me while I may just throw up at my work desk right now...dammit! this sickness is supposed to subside now!)

Got to hear baby's heartbeat on the "tummy mic" (or DOPPLAR, as doc calls it) and it was instantly apparent, loud, and fast. Just what we all wanted to hear! Doc was pleased as punch and happy to schedule the next two appointments for me (arg...paying for these right before Christmas? It'll happen SOMEHOW) - a quick tummy check right before Thanksgiving and then our quad-screen test + sono in December, right before Christmas. That one should be an exciting day!

She told me she doesn't see any reason to hold off on telling the world our news...though I'm still hesitant to put it up on Facebook because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Sure, sure...we all know I'll do it anyway. I just want to be as sensitive as I can for those out there who may be struggling with conception. We'll see what I decide to do, since I can't wait too long!

I'm thinking about putting it up on the blog in just a couple of days. Maybe even a special Halloween treat? Who am I kidding. I won't have my act together by tomorrow :). I have a cute photo idea to share the news, but I'm not sure we'll ever get around to taking the shot itself, what with my family's crazy schedule and all.

Back to work. I've got one last thing weighing on my shoulders right now for school (blah), which will come and go this Monday. After that is done, I can take a breather, celebrate a birthday (MINE!), watch this belly grow, and then start to think about finals. This time next year I'll be preparing for my final semester!!! Joy!!! Oh right...I'll also be out of my mind trying to wrangle TWO kiddos in and out of daycare/school. Oy.

Here! 32 weeks!

Make that 57 days and counting! I am totally ready for this baby to arrive...except for the whole "we've done nothing to prepare" thing. Who cares about that at this point, right?

Honeymoon over, that's for sure. I'm tired but can't sleep. Groin pain! Back pain! Tummy pain! Occasional days of high blood pressure, which isn't enough to be concerned about but when it happens the only thing I can do to combat it is sit/lay down and do nothing. A situation not known to the Adamo house. 

I'm ready for a margarita. I'm ready to be done with the needing-to-pee feeling. I'm ready to move faster and exercise again (who am I?). Oh, but I'm probably not ready for life as a mom of two! It is what it is. 

I know for certain I'm ready to find out what the next chapter brings us. Definitely less fear and anxiety this time than with Bridget. A healthy dose would probably be better than what I'm feeling now!

And still no name. Not even a short list. Blame Jonathan. I do.

Dat How My Hair Grow

Like crazy these days! Prenatal pills are making my mop look like a shaggy mess, so I'm going in for a cut after having it done 3 months ago. I'm a twice a year haircut kinda gal. This is weirding me out! It looks terrrrrrrrrrrrible in this pic...eh...to know me is to know I don't really care :).

All is well on the baby front these days - I'm still honeymooning, feeling good, and "enjoying" the pregnancy (not a true statement for ANYONE EVER, but you get it). As I told Gary at work today in response to the commonly asked question: "so how's the whole second-pregnancy-while-enduring-law-school thing working for you?" Well, G-man...it's working. Is there really an alternative? My honest reply is: "it could be worse" and it certainly could. Just like with Bridget, I'd heard pregnancy horror stories from many and reminded myself daily of the blessing a slightly above-average pregnancy can be. I don't take it for granted!

That said, my groin muscles/bones still hurt constantly and continue to get worse. Oww!

The need for Tums comes on radically and is insatiable. Thankfully it's very intermittent. Pregnancy heart burn is like none other!

Poor sleeping started a while ago and will just continue to get worse. This time around I'm actually okay with it. Yes, it sucks, but someone like me who gets plenty of sleep regularly needs a little kick in the pants to prepare for raising an infant again...and since B was truly the angel baby, I don't expect to be blessed in that manner again. A girl can dream! But she also needs to be prepared :).

Little man is ACTIVE. Moving all the time! 

I fear I'm just reaching the stage of "hungry all the time" and that blows. Thankfully that coincides with finishing off all the Girl Scout cookies in our pantry. It's a feat I'm not proud of...

Tonight is date night. Maybe we'll look over baby names! Eek!

It’s Finally Posted!

I crack myself for finally adding this video. Ah, posterity. You motivator, you! Enjoy Bridget’s 4th birthday interview. Better late than never (an aside – B has been way into colloquialisms lately, and we just discussed “better late than never” yesterday), I guess!

Playing Catch-Up!

I really don’t want to miss putting up some pics from activities we enjoyed this past Fall. Between school, the first trimester, and just life in general, it became pretty overwhelming to keep up with the ol’ blog. I’ll do what I can do do some catching up over the next few weeks…then maybe I’ll do a blog book for once!

Here’s some fun we had over Christmas break:

Bridget and I had quite the journey trying to keep up with our Advent Activity Calendar this season, but I’d say all in all we did a decent job (despite so many fun activities getting cancelled due to the ice weekend!). One of our favorites was seeing the Northpark Trains.

Just about tops for me this year was getting dressed up for Breakfast with Santa. Though I was sad to have missed our annual trip with our favorite Fair ladies (we’d decided not to partake this year, and then it ended up being cancelled due to ice anyway!), my Mom was happy to step in with an invite to breakfast at the Four Seasons. It did not disappoint! Santa was so attentive, the food was AMAZING, and it gave us a chance to spend quality time with Mimi & Pop. Oh! And we got to see our special friends, The Prewitts, too! Bonus!

I will never tire of the adorable kids buffet! Isn’t it the best?!

The next morning, we were all more than ready to share the gender news of Bridget’s new baby. We gathered with both families for an afternoon of holiday cookie decorating, but started the event with a balloon pop reveal. It’s a BOY!!

23 weeks...what Jenny McCarthy didn't tell me

Some things I've experienced that my favorite pregnancy book, "Belly Laughs", didn't warn me about (some of these things are new to this pregnancy, some were familiar foes from B's incubation period):

1. Giant boobs already! What the what? My bra cups be runneth over and I got a long way to go. I'm NOT interested in maternity shopping this go round, so these puppies are going to continue to squeeze in as long as possible. Don't think the husband will mind.

2. Boogers! That's right, I admit it. Anyone else suddenly have crazy boogs EVERY MORNING with only one way to resolve the problem? The icky way. Started with Bridget, slowed down a bit after her birth but never totally went back to the way it was, and has come back with a vengeance this time. Not cool. Anyone I've complained to tells me to deal because they've dealt with nose goblins their whole life. Guess I'll consider myself lucky for the first 27 years of life.

3. Pelvic PAIN! This is serious pain, y'all. Extreme soreness in the groin region that apparently stays the whole pregnancy. Again, NOT COOL. I read up on it and it's totally a thing. A normal thing. Especially in subsequent pregnancies. I'm sure Jonathan is sick of me reminding him of the crazy owies. The snoogle tries to help...it tries.

4. No cravings too extreme. Yeah! I'd better finish this post so I can dig in on that slice of key like pie I just went and sought out :).

5. I have little interest in preparing for this little dude. Mostly due to the fact that I know what he needs most are already here...attached to my chest. Now just to get some diapers and a few outfits. A room and bedding would be nice, I guess. And a double stroller. Swing. Ugh. No interest in that stuff. No super designer Mommy this time, I fear. Good thing a boy is coming! :)

TTC #4: It’s Got Attitude (written June 5th)

*Turns out I DID write this post after all! Enjoy my musings on 6+ of trying to get pregnant*

 

Let’s lay a little bit of ground work with some back story:

We decided after 6 months of trying to conceive (TTC – to all internet trollers looking for info on infertility) that it was time to consult my OB. All I’d heard is to wait one year before seeking professional help. When I called to ask about appointments, I was offered a time for THE NEXT DAY. My OB said she was so glad I’d taken the initiative to call her sooner rather than later so I could get some peace of mind, at least. She said there were certainly tests she could run at this point in the process that would help determine our level of need in the area of fertility, and that she wished more of her patients would consult her at the 6 month mark instead of waiting a full year before admitting there was a problem. High five, Me!

Over the course of the next 3 months, we ran a bunch of tests (first on me, then on Jonathan) and – long story short – we were both in the clear on any possible fertility problems. Jonathan and I both tossed up some quality high fives with this news! Sure, we were relieved. But knowing there’s no problem didn’t solve our problem. Duh! I’m still not pregnant!

A few months later I called the doc back just to see if she had any other tips for us before we hit the big “one year” (when she’d officially concede to using the term “infertility”). She suggested an over the counter fertility hormone called Pregnitude. I laughed out loud when she told me the name! Her response to my laugh: “It’s got attitude!”

Dealing with end of the semester finals and preparation for summer meant I feel behind a few weeks in buying the product but when I’d gotten my period (again – ugh!!!) at the end of April, I just bit the bullet and ordered the stuff online. It arrived 3 days later.

We’ll see what happens! Not sure if it will even do anything for us because I don’t have any problems ovulating, according to my tests and Ovulation Predictor Kits…but I’m game for anything that might help before we are faced with big decisions at the end of the summer, should we still find ourselves as a family of three.

Here goes nothing!

Half way there? Are you kidding me?

So I think I might have mentioned in an earlier post that the comment, “doesn’t the pregnancy go by so fast” was not resonating with me at all. Well, that was then and this is now. We’re already over half way to the end of it! Ack! At least I’m doing a decent job of enjoying the honeymoon part of growing a baby. How fun is it to be belly cute during the holidays?!

I think it’s a combination of being WAY busier with work and school this time around + spending as much time as I possibly can doting on my 4 year old that I just don’t have the enthusiasm for weekly (that even makes me laugh that I managed weekly last time) belly pics. I cherish my photobook of our growing belly during Bridget’s pregnancy, but alas, this baby is 100% a second child already. At least I know he/she will have the necessities in life…but not the thousands of pics of him/herself doing absolutely nothing but being. It is what it is with the second one. C’est la vie, right?

Here’s a 20 week (nearly 21 weeks) shot I asked Jonathan to take this morning at our delicious breakfast with Santa. Hmmm…now to see if I can find a 20 week-er from B’s pregnancy…

Success! God bless you, old blog posts. But oh, I shudder at the pic from 2009! My hair! My fat arms! Oh well. I think I’ve managed to keep the weight gain down from last time, not that I care (but I don’t NOT care). I have a NY’s resolution to exercise at least once while pregnant. It’s a challenge I’m willing to consider accepting, even if it finds me sitting on the couch watching Say Yes to the Dress instead of doing that prenatal yoga video I’d planned.

Back on track -  I sure got a nice giggle out of looking back through the blog (those were pics that were lost in the infamous hard drive crash of 2011) from way back then seeing all the free time I had. Crafts! Home updates! Cooking adventures! Time for regular blog posts! Oh, old life. You make me laugh.

Tomorrow is the big gender reveal! I’m out on straight up parties for a gender reveal, so we’re just incorporating it into our already scheduled Adamo-Williams family cookie decorating party. I’m excited! Tonight we share the news with Bridget…looking forward to a good video of that reaction for posterity.

TTC #3: Ugh...here we go again (written June 17th)

*So one month prior to writing this post I'd talked to my doc about more things I could do to help the process along before seeing her at the one year mark. She suggested a hormone supplement called PREGNITUDE (hilarious name! we both laughed about it over the phone), so I'd started it in May. I think I might have even written a blog post that month about it but saved it to my laptop...I'll see. The title was "Pregnitude - it's got ATTITUDE!". I definitely did that. Oh well. Yeah, it obviously didn't help and I was mad I'd spent the money with no results. Alas, at least it was something to try. If you have any friends trying to conceive, have them research the product because there are lots of success stories out there!*

Another day, another pregnancy announcement. People around me need to stop getting pregnant!! No fair!! Just kidding...sort of. No really, I'm so excited for each of you and the blessing you've received. I'm just a jealous and selfish little B sometimes, too. Oh the things we can say when we're typing and no one's listening :). Seriously, ya'll...my heart feels so heavy on days like this, but what I find myself thinking about most are those sweet souls who are living through this same struggle but are still trying in vain to have their first and only baby. I just can't imagine their heartbreak, seeing as how hard it is for me - someone who's already been blessed with a precious angel. Sure, I also think to myself - maybe its harder for me because I know what its like to have a child (the joy, hope, unconditional love, heart in another's body) and just want to feel that again?? Um, I'm pretty sure its still even harder for them. I am truly blessed. But man, it just SUCKS feeling like everyone else around you can have as many kids as they want whenever they want and you can't! Yep, just looked up from my desk and saw someone in my office and though - hmmm - he has two kids that are less than 3 years apart. Of course. Who doesn't?! Blah. Did I mention I started feeling my monthly cramps two days ago? So, here we go again... July is another month. Maybe it will be our time. (on a happier note, I look forward to uploading my thousands of pics from May and the start of June - HILTON HEAD TRIP!)

Update: 15 weeks!

I will not be able to keep up with this pregnancy like I did with the first, but when things pop in my mind, I'll jot them down.

Just had a good doc appointment yesterday. Wahoo! Next month's appointment brings with it a gender reveal sonogram. Yippee!

Me these days:

Feeling way better, but somehow still gagging randomly and often. Eh, I'll take it.

Pregnancy nose is WAY more intense this time around. Thank The Lord I'm not teaching middle school because men's cologne is killing me. If I smell it, I might as well be drowning in it. Jonathan was not happy with me when I snapped at him recently because I thought he reeked of cologne. He doesn't ever wear it. It was after shave, and it was his normal amount.

Food cravings are easy - Asian food and anything home cooked. No snacks. Thanksgiving has never been so highly anticipated to a stomach!

I'm trying to not fall behind in keeping my home. Sweeping, vacuuming, general up keep - waaaayyyy behind. Thankfully B is decent at picking up after herself! It'll happen...or it won't. I ain't stressing.

Anything else? I can't remember. In fact, I can't remember most things right now. What were we talking about? Where I am? Why did I just put the butter in the cup cabinet? You know the drill.

Bring on the holidays!

TTC Post #2: Allow me to clarify (written 11/13)

Well, well, well. Haven’t we all had a little bit of poster’s remorse once we set free a garbled mess of our opinions onto the world? Yes, I have that right now.

Let me begin with this: instead of selfishly saying, “please try not to be offended” as a preface to my last post, I should have simply said, “I’m so sorry to those of you who are offended by my words!” So, my apologies to you. Honestly!

Now to clarify a little bit about the start of our TTC journey. In hindsight, I seemed to ride on a steady roller coaster that shifted about every 2 months or so.

Phase 1: Stop taking birth control! March of 2012. Not because we were ready to have a baby, but rather I was out of my prescription and hadn’t scheduled another annual in time, so I was stuck with a June appointment. Me being the planner, I made sure we were extra careful those few months in between to avoid any early pregnancies. IDIOT! Did you know you’re much more likely to get pregnant within the first 2 months of stopping birth control as a result of your hormone fluctuations? Yeah…if I’d known then what I know now. Spread the word to all of your baby-trying friends!

Phase 2: This will be easy! Julie and Ryan were trying for a baby at the same time (why not? Abby and Bridget are born two days apart and its perfect – our pregnancies lined up just right so neither of us had to go cold turkey on alcohol alone – let’s do the same for baby #2!), and they got pregnant within the hour. I swear this to you. Yeah! To be honest, in June of 2012, J and I were still pretty nervous about another baby so we were taking things slow, plus we wanted a summer baby and not a spring baby…let’s time this just right! A positive test in August-November would be perfect. I told Dr. T we were going to start that summer, so we waived the BC prescription. All was well. This will be easy!

Phase 3: Um…why am I still getting my period?! Y’all. By mid-late August I was just sure this was happening. I’d started being more sensitive to any and every “strange” feeling, assuming it meant a tiny baby was inside here. I’d even told my friend at school that I should have an aisle seat for quick exits during bouts of morning sickness. I’d looked up potential due dates on the babycenter.com calculators. I was so naïve! Thankfully, we still had an open window. Unfortunately, I was starting to get stressed, which is NOT helpful in the bedroom. At all. Jonathan’s story is all his own, and I won’t go into that, but man did I learn a lot about how to deal with a man’s feelings on this whole TTC matter…

Phase 4: The window is closing. It was so sad and defeating. No summer baby. Jonathan started to think we should slow down on trying because we didn’t want another poorly-timed delivery (can you say an early September baby in a teacher family?! Not ideal!). I, however, was worried something was wrong. As we bumped up against our 6 month mark of TTC, I decided to call Dr. T for an appointment just to see what she would say. I’ll never forget this:

“I am so glad you didn’t wait until 1 year to come see me about this. Most people do and by that time they’ve wasted a good 1/2 year trying for a baby without ever knowing something is wrong.”

I’m telling all my friends this line from now on. Just go ask! It never hurts! Thankfully for us, after a one-day test for Jonathan and two tests for me, we were both given a clean bill of health on the reproduction scale. High hopes returned to us once again and we were ready to get started. Keep in mind the bedroom stress I was emitting was still not helpful…but guys, it ain’t easy to just turn that switch off, ya know?

Phase 5: I’m over a week late! This is it! Oh wait, screw it all. Yep. The first week of February put me at over a week late (by this point, I was pretty good at knowing my mostly-regular cycle…23-25 days). I’m talking like 33 day cycle here. I finally got the nerve up to take a test. Negative. “What?! No way?! I’ll retake again tonight.” No need. I’d gotten my period about 2 hours after taking the morning test. This is where I started to get dark on things.

Phase 6: Ok. Let’s keep “trying” except I’m totally OVER being stressed about it. This actually helped a lot! My marriage wasn’t as stressed over it (don’t get me wrong – still a TON of stress), and I had settled quite well into my monthly depression for 1 day, followed by forced joy (I can still drink! I can still lose weight!).

That brings us pretty much up to the post I wrote and posted earlier this week. We started an OTC hormone supplement called Pregnitude (yes, that’s its name! Horrid!) that May, but I didn’t notice a huge difference. Hello…we still didn’t get pregnant. More to come on my review of that stuff.

Again…apologies for being selfish! Apologies for being offensive. Hugs to all . And I’m not taking the time to proof read this. It is what it is. Til next post!

TTC Post #1: The Waiting Game (written May 22nd)

*Here goes nothing! This is the first real post I wrote regarding the trying to conceive issue (henceforth known as TTC). Upon a few re-reads, its pretty offensive! Real, honest feelings aren't often pretty, and I'm a girl that VERY seldom shares heavy feelings with anyone. I mean ANYONE. I think this post is a good example of just how stressful the whole baby making process was for me, and keep in mind we'd already been trying for nearly a year by the time I wrote this. Pretty sure I just didn't want to acknowledge the emotions before this time, but Lord knows they were eating me up and had been doing so basically since the August prior to this May written post. If there's time, I may write some posts sharing more info on the first 4-9 months of TTC, since I think there's some helpful things I can impart from that part of the journey, too. We'll see. For now, enjoy Anna's angry inner monologue...and please, please, please try not to be offended! This is me getting real for a few minutes*

The Waiting Game - Written May 22, 2013

It's time for the same game I've played every 3 weeks for 11 months. Is it coming or is it not? I'm past the point of taking any tests, or following OPKs, or feeling my "middleschmertz" to determine when the "best time" is for us (that's BULL, people! I'm the QUEEN of mid-cycle cramps and they're just a bunch of teasing bitches to me now!). None of it has worked and its been a good while, so I'm to the point of just saying SCREW IT.

So everyone will tell you this: "Oh, just stop trying and it will happen." I'm sorry, have you ever met me? I'm notorious for being the most super competitive person, but I only like to compete with one person - MYSELF. I'll apply for positions just to see if I can get them. I'll enter a race just to prove it to myself that I can finish it. I'll take the LSAT just to see if I can get a good score. This whole, "stop trying" thing just doesn't happen for some of us. I can't just FORGET that there's an ovulation period and that is the best time to get pregnant. I can't just IGNORE my monthly visitor from Mother Nature and forget that its a monthly reminder of my failure. Sorry. That's just not something I can do. Is it really something other people can do, or do they just say that to make themselves feel better?? Ugh. [present day insert - I really feel this comment reflects the fact that we never endured infertility issues with Bridget's conception. Why? Oh right, she was a total surprise. Who knows how long we would have had to try for her if we'd tried to "plan" for a baby...]

Of course its no surprise to hear that my life is stressful. Whose isn't in one way or another? For me its the constant glass-ball juggling I referred to this past August, and I've gonna toot my own horn and say that for the past 9 months I've done a darn good job of holding it all together. In my mind, this peace in my crazy world is 100% due to the fact that I've been struggling with trying to get pregnant since last June. I don't think I've ever felt the kind of stress I feel for this struggle for anything else in my life before. More than anything, this challenge has made my heart grow for those couples who have struggled with infertility for months, years, life times. Wanting something so badly, trying everything you can, and knowing that there's nothing YOU can do. It's tough, ya'll. I won't lie. Don't even get me started on how aware you become of pregnancies and babies all around you. It's like a field of crab grass babies in my life! Just when you think you've ridded yourself of the stuff staring you in the face, more of them pop up THE NEXT DAY. That's another post for another day (and friends - one blessing I'm thankful for is that this struggle as not hindered my ability to feel true joy for those who've been blessed with new babies during this last year - in fact, I think it makes me even happier for those who've had success! Phew! 'Cause seriously, I'm SURROUNDED...).

Well, so I continue with the waiting game. Sure, I'm pretty positive my period will come any day now. If it does, so be it. I've gotten through the first 3-5 months where I was positive we'd get a "positive" because, HELLO, we already have proof that we can procreate! That was a real blow to the system when our "window of opportunity" that we were so looking forward to using this time (planning a pregnancy is GREAT! Get pregnant the exact right week so you'll deliver two weeks after finals! Perfect!) closed in our faces, since Bridget was a delightful surprise that arrived in our world two weeks into the start of the school year (not the best time for a baby, but hey...who cares). I've gone through the period of hope that maybe we'd just have a Christmas baby instead. Nope. I'm over the fact that if I ever have another kiddo, he or she will be too far removed from Bridget to be "best buds" while growing up. Oh well. So we're inching back into the "window of opportunity" again. Hey, if we make it to July without a two-lined stick, we get to start talking about fertility treatments. Joy, right?

I'm not sure when I'll post this. Depends on if I get pregnant EVER. Maybe I'll post it when and if we actually reach the one year of trying mark and head back to the OB office with the bad news. Who knows. It does feel good to get the feelings out there. Sheesh, its truly a laughing matter to me these days, honestly. Every time I get my period, I go through the same 24 hour roller coaster - sadness, bitterness, disappointment, pissed-off-edness, depression, forced relief (yay! i can still drink and try to lose weight!), and finally thankfulness. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR BRIDGET. We've been blessed with such a special angel - she's healthy, she's happy, she's perfect to us. I remind myself of that every time I start to get sad about baby stuff. There are people out there that want nothing more in the world than to feel the miracle of pregnancy and birth in their own bodies/families and that miracle never comes to them. Thank GOD for adoption as an option. We are truly blessed and whatever will be will be. Out of our hands. We've done all we can do for now. Let's see where parenthood finds us come July 2013, and if we're faced with the thought of fertility treatments, we'll meet the challenge of that decision with the same determination and gusto we always bring. Us Adamos are not too bad at challenges. Just ask my husband who's been dealing with 2 years of a working wife in law school. OK. Saving this post for now. What do you have in store for me next, life? We'll see :).

Adamo Adventures - so much to cover, so little motivation!

Things to blog about:
- Halloween
- Bridget's birthday interview (ugh...I roll my eyes at the thought of posting to youtube)
- Fall activities (pumpkin patch, school carnival, birthday parties, etc.)
- State Fair visits
- German invasion (the Broses are here for the entire school year! Awesome!)
- My birthday (oh wait, that's tomorrow...I'm not behind just yet!)
- I'm sure there's more crap on my phone/fancy camera that needs dumping

Timing just ain't on my side these days. Alas, I continue to have the best intentions. I'm thankful for a healthy family these days, a law school semester that is winding down, TONS of family coming in town for Thanksgiving (both sissies with husbands in tow, all the Adamo clan is already here...), and so many supportive friends to share life's ups and downs.

Soooo...this has happened:

Yep. My grand plans of waiting to post to the blog until I had an adorably cute photo of all the current Adamos holding brass instruments, with a lone, un-manned tuba sitting to the side with a sign saying "The Adamos will be a QUARTET - May 2014!"...or something cheesy but fun like that...yeah, that ain't gonna happen any time soon. This will have to do! And BTW - my belly looked extra poppy at that moment, so I captured it while I could. Pretty sure the cookie I scarfed from Starbucks right beforehand had something to do with the larger-than-13-weeks-should-look appearance...

We're so very thankful and happy to be on this journey, as its a gift we've waited a while to receive. I look forward to finally posting the many journal entries I've composed over the past few months, sharing my feelings of disappointment while we waited and waited for that positive pregnancy test to show up. So many couples/families wait years and years, often without ever seeing success, for their own precious baby to arrive. I was in agony after a few measly months! I think it's a story that should be shared, so I look forward to putting it out there in the open.

Regardless, we're pregnant! Agh! What are we thinking?! Well, we're glad to be given a clean bill of health in this, our almost 14th week. I no longer need to post and then save when chatting about baby stuff, so apologies in advance if non-chronological posts get confusing. I'll do my best to make them obvious!

Lastly, I've hesitated to put an "official" post of FB so far, mostly because I remember how painful it was for me to see (what felt like) post after post of friends sharing their joyful news (which was still SO JOYFUL for me to hear!) at this time of year. I'm going to do it at some point, but I've just found a different perspective on the whole thing, so I'm trying my best to be sensitive. But as I said, I'll put something official up soon, I'm sure. Until then, let's keep this to the blogosphere!

Happy my birthday weekend to all! Hahahaha :).

Wisdom from Law School

One of my professors is currently a judge in the Bankruptcy Court of Dallas. He's fabulous! Though I had wished I skipped class on Monday (I felt so sick after over-doing it this weekend with events and stress) since all we did was chat about the effects of bankruptcy, I was glad to get a friendly reminder of how well Jonathan and I truly have it in life.

Judge Hale offered a little anecdote about his life and the fact that he and his wife enjoyed many times of great wealth (being a partner in a big firm helps that!), when they had time to go and do fun activities (hiring a babysitter without thinking about the cost?!), date nights, trips, etc. They'd also experienced times of being, well, BROKE. Nothing in the bank? Not necessarily, but certainly living basically paycheck to paycheck in order to send their son to the most expensive school in the country, be it with great pride. He said to us, "Y'all...its WAY easier to have a happy relationship when you don't have to always worry about money! Even the strongest of bonds are tested when there's not quite enough to make it through the month. If you're worried about making a mortgage payment or skipping a few bills here to pay a few others there, it can be extremely stressful. Not to mention the stress it puts on your kids when they know money is tight." (these quotes are for effect - I'm definitely summarizing here).

You'd better believe I went right home and gave my husband a big hug and told him what a great job I think we're doing navigating this difficult time in our lives. We bought a wonderful home at a time when we were young, had two good jobs, and no kids. Well, within two years, one of us had left her job and we'd added a kiddo to the mix. What was I thinking?! Hahaha. Sure, we knew what was coming and have done our best to prepare in any way possible, but its been a long 2.5 years so far and we've got a little ways more to go before the light finally comes to us again. I can honestly say we're doing a pretty darn good job keeping our marriage a priority and making sure we don't let the struggles that always come at the end of the school semester (aka the most broke times of the year!) get us too down. We'll have our times of ease someday, and even if things are easier in the money department, there will always be issues elsewhere. Thank God we have our health (who sound old?! This girl!).

Money doesn't make people happy...but not having money can easily make people unhappy.

To all those who have to tighten the belt for whatever reason (loss of job, medical bills, new home brokedness, new kid budgeting, etc), keep your head up and keep trucking! We can do it!

(I'm still laughing at the article I read about moms on a budget who can't justify buying organic all the time...and all the guilt they feel from other moms constantly talking about shopping only at Sprouts or neighborhood markets or buying grass-fed beef or whatnot...I AM THAT MOM WHO PASSES THE ORGANICS! Not always, and I do love me some Sprouts. But don't judge me for getting the broccoli for $.99 instead of the "special" broccoli for $2.79. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do and I need that extra $$ for more toilet paper! And don't get me started on my cynicism toward/skepticism of food labeling. I'm quickly evolving into a "trust no one" sort of gal. I'm not happy about it, but its true. Rant over!)

Congratulations, Bridget–You’re FOUR! (late? who’s late?)

*Where has the time gone?! I diligently wrote this post on time on 9/7/13, but since I wrote it at work and can’t seem to post from Blogger without having the paragraphs turn into one big blob, this has been sitting in my poor, lengthy cue…Happy birthday to my baby, none the less!*

 

She's been waiting and waiting and it finally arrived. Her BIRTHDAY. My sweet girl is a big four year old and she's tickled as she can be.

There's just so much more to say as the years go on, and making a list of likes and dislikes, things she can do, etc gets tougher and tougher. She can do so much now! Here's my best attempt while I'm sitting at the office procrastinating my work:

 

LIKES:
- most fruits (yay!)
- carrots & peanut butter
- all things breakfast (give that girl some bacon!)
- water and milk and her favorite drinks (phew! its not like she hasn't tasted a sip of soda and thinks is glorious, but she's accepted the whole "treat" idea and knows that water is best. Yay!)
- coke Slurpees and snocones (not sure where she gets that...hehehe)
- pistachios, avocado (of course), steamed broccoli (wahoo!), cottage cheese (a new like), yogurt (Mimi lets her crunch up goodies to mix in - don't we love grandparents?)
- "crunchy beans" aka a soft bean burrito with crunched up chips inside. Whatever gets us through a Mexican restaurant dinner and doesn't mean ordering nuggets and fries! A triumph!
- being outdoors & hiking with Daddy
- Daddy. She's still a Mama's girl, but since Mommy gets to be the mean one most of the time, this girl always loves going to Daddy for some good spoiling.
- Princesses. Any princess. Anytime. Anywhere.
- iPad. No, we don't have one. She still is obsessed.
- puzzles and Memory games
- Science. We've been doing more and more science experiments and she's loving seeing how things work. Having a science teacher for a Mimi and an engineer for a Grandpa explains a lot!
- nightgowns. Don't you dare try to put this girl in anything else!
- sleeping on the floor. Oy.
- preschool! We are so blessed to see her smiling face each time she heads off the school. I really hope she continues to love learning as much as she does now!
- getting her nails done. Fun!

 

DISLIKES:
- healthy meats: ground anything, fish, chicken breast, turkey (unless its the cubes and I call it ham...then she loves it)
- sleeping at bedtime. It's been a battle every day for a few weeks. Not. Cool. (now that I’m posting this late, we’ve completely recovered from this phase! Cheers!)
- having help getting dressed.
- being away from Mommy. Tear.
- most "caretaker" situations that don't involve Mommy/Daddy or preschool. Thankfully she's old enough to discuss things, but its still rough sometimes. Did I mention the not going to bed well at night? Yeah. That doesn't help behavior!
- her car seat. Great.
- being sweaty. Poor girl has gotten so much from her Daddy, and sweating after even lifting a finger is one of those traits. Poor thing.

 

Bridget,

You are such a blessing to me and your Daddy. We were just talking about how in awe we are of you and how we can't imagine our life without you. How has it already been four years since you joined our family and changed our lives forever? You zest for life is infectious and we are so proud of the little lady you have become and what is in store for your future. Thank you for being you. We love you to pieces and will never be able to tell you enough how much we truly love you.

 

Hugs and love,

 

Mommy and Daddy